Seems legit :)

Let's make fun out of something serious. :)

-What do you say when see an empty parrot cage ?

·         POLYGON.

-What do you call a crushed angle?

·          A RECTANGLE

-What do you call people who are in favor of tractors?

·         PROTRACTORS

-What did the student say from Italy when the witch doctor removed the curse?

·         HEXAGON

-What did the acorn say when he grew up?

·         GEOMETRY

-What do you call an angle which is adorable?

·         A ACUTE ANGLE

-What do you use to tie up a package?

·         A CHORD

-What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? 

·         PUMPKIN PI!

-What should you do when it rains?

·         COINCIDE

-How many calories are there in that slice of chocolate pi? 

·         APPROXIMATELY 3.14

-What does the zero say to the the eight

·         NICE BELT

-Why was 6 afraid of 7?

·         BECAUSE 7 8 9

-How did the farmer solve the trigonometry problem?

·         USING SWINE AND COSMINE

-What did one math book say to another?

·         LEAVE ME ALONE. I HAVE MY OWN PROBLEMS.

- What kind of snake is good at math?

·         THE ADDER

- What did the oak tree say to the acorn.

·         GEE, I’M A TREE

- What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? 

·         TANGENT

-What do you call a fierce beast?

·         A LINE

QUOTATIONS ABOUT GEOMETRY AND MATH

"Inspiration is needed in geometry, just as much as in poetry."
 Alexander Pushkin 

"Nobody untrained in geometry may enter my house."
 Albrecht Durer

"Everything one invents is true, you may be perfectly sure of that. Poetry is as precise as geometry."
Arthur Cayley 

"Music is the arithmetic of sounds as optics is the geometry of light."
 Joseph J Sylvester (1814 to 1897) 

"There is geometry in the humming of the strings, there is music in the spacing of the spheres."
Carl Friedrish (1777 to 1855) 

"It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry."
Farkas Bolyai (1775 to 1856) 

"There are no sects in geometry."
-unknown

"And since geometry is the right foundation of all painting, I have decided to teach its rudiments and principles to all youngsters eager for art."
  Jose Saramago

"Poetry is as exact a science as geometry."
Pythagoras

"A straight line is shortest in morals as well as in geometry."
  Archimedes

"The cowboys have a way of trussing up a steer or a pugnacious bronco which fixes the brute so that it can neither move nor think. This is the hog-tie, and it is what Euclid did to geometry."
Bernard de Fontenelle

"Crystals grew inside rock like arithmetic flowers. They lengthened and spread, added plane to plane in an awed and perfect obedience to an absolute geometry that even stones -- maybe only the stones -- understood." 
 Carl Friedrish

"The two elements the traveler first captures in the big city are extrahuman architecture and furious rhythm. Geometry and anguish."
 Augustus De Morgan

"There are some who, because the point is the limit and extreme of the line, the line of the plane, and the plane of the solid, think there must be real things of this sort."

Albrecht Ducer (1471 to 1528) 

"The composer opens the cage door for arithmetic, the draftsman gives geometry its freedom."

John Dee (1527 to 1608)

" Projective geometry is all geometry."
   Archimedes

       "There isgeometry inthehumming of thestrings.There is music in the

         spacings of the spheres."
          John Dee

       "One geometry can not be more true than another; it can only be more 

         convenient. Geometry is not true, it is advantageous."
          Archimedes

    "Geometry is that part of universal mechanics which accurately proposes

 and demonstrates the art of measuring."
  Sir Christopher Wren

       "But even Archimedes was not free from the prevailing notion that 

geometry was  degraded by being employed to produce anything useful. 

It was with difficulty that he was induced to stoop from speculation to practice. 

He was half ashamed of those inventions which were the wonder of hostile 

nations, and always spoke of them slightingly as mere amusements, as trifles

 in which a mathematician might be suffered to relax his mind after intense

 application to the higher parts of his science."
Federico Garcia Lorca

"Night Geometryand the GarscaddenTrains."
  John E Littlewood

"In Geometry (which is the only science that it hath pleased God hithertotobestowonmankind) men begin at settling the significations of 

their words; which†they call Definitions."
Jean Cochetuc

"There is no'royal road'to geometry."
Sir Isaac Newton

"Let no-one enter who does not know his geometry."
Aristotle 

"His way had therefore come full circle, or rather had taken the form of an

 ellipse or a spiral, following as ever no straight unbroken line, for the

 rectilinear belongs only to Geometry and not to Nature and Life."
The World of Mathematics" edited by J.R. Newman 

"Everybody at the party is a many sided polygon....Nonagon!"
  Arthur Cayley

"I would say, if you like, that the party is like an out-moded

mathematics...that isto say, the mathematics of Euclid. We need to

 invent a non-Euclidian mathematicswith respect to political discipline."
James Jones, The Thin Red Line

"In reality the universe has no geometry."
Kedar Joshi, Superultramodern Science And Philosophy

"Give me a place to stand, a lever long enough and a fulcrum. and I can

 move the Earth"
Janos Bolyai (1802 to 1860) 

"The cowboys have a way of trussing up a steer or a pugnacious bronco

 which fixes the brute so that it can neither move nor think. This is the hog-tie,

 and it is what Euclid did to geometry."
Bernard de Fontenelle (1657 to 1757) 

"Projective geometry has opened up for us with the greatest facility new 

territories in our science, and has rightly been called the royal road to our 

particular field of knowledge."

Thomas Hobbes (1588 to 1629)

"As long as algebra and geometry have been separated, their progress

 have been slow and their uses limited; but when these two sciences have

 been united, they have lent each mutual forces, and have marched together

 towards perfection."
Sir Christopher Wren (1632 to1723) 

"The description of right lines and circles, upon which geometry is founded,

 belongs to mechanics. Geometry does not teach us to draw these lines,

 but requires them to be drawn. "
Joseph-Louis Lagrange (1736 to 1813) 

"A work of morality, politics, criticism will be more elegant, other things 

being equal, if it is shaped by the hand of geometry."
Augustus De Morgan (1806 to 1871) 

"A youth who had begun to read geometry with Euclid, when he had learnt the

first proposition, inquired, "What do I get by learning these things?" So Euclid 

called a slave and said "Give him threepence, since he must make a 

gain out of what he learns."

Stobaeus, Extracts

"I am coming more and more to the conviction that the necessity of our 

geometry cannot be demonstrated, at least neither by, nor for, the human 

intellect...geometry should be ranked, not with arithmetic, which is purely

 aprioristic, but with mechanics."
Joseph J Sylvester (1814 to 1897) 

RESOURCES

G. Patrick Vennebush (1993) Math Jokes For Folks ISBN 031278237429, OCLC 2823728 1278178 156253788
F. Mark Victor J. (1998) Math Jokes For Folks 2 ISBN 092738273487, OCLC 72834728 6738268

CRISENCIO M. PANER     

                                                                                                                                       

CP : 0915-1429675                                                   Email : panercris@gmail.com                                                                                                         

EDUCATION

•        Ph.D. in Biological Science (candidate)

University of Santo Tomas, Graduate School

• M.S. Microbiology

University of Santo Tomas

      Thesis: “Chemical Control of Fungi Infesting Easel Oil Paintings at

                   University of Santo Tomas Museum of Arts and Sciences”

      

• Italian Scholarship Grant

Restoration and Conservation of Artworks Attacked by Biological Agents

Istituto Centrale Per Il Restauro, Rome, Italy (January 1-June 30, 2004)

• B.S. Biochemistry

University of Santo Tomas

• Professional Teaching Certification Program (Major in Biological Science)

Caloocan City Polytechnic College

PUBLICATIONS

 Book:

  Co-author in LET Reviewer in Biology, 2006-2010 eds. Published by MET Inc.

                          ISBN # 97193249-6-1, sold in National Bookstores                                                                                                                 

Articles:

• Understanding Museum Pests: The Molds. CFAD Atelier Journal, University of  Santo Tomas, Vol. 2 No. 1, 2003-2004, pp. 80-83
• On the Conservation of 20^th Century Color Photographs Attacked by Molds. CFAD Atelier Journal, UST., Vol. 2 No. 1, 2003-2004, pp. 106-113
• Witnessing the Glory of Italy in Its Art History and Ancient Spaces. CFAD Atelier Journal, UST, Vol. 3 No. 1, 2004-2005, pp. 55-72 
• _______________. Panorama Magazine, November 13, 2005, pp. 12, 13, & 21.
• Deterioration of Paintings and Painting Components Caused by Microorganisms. CFAD Atelier Journal, UST., Vol. 3 No. 1, 2004-2005, pp. 91-94
• Microbial Deterioration of Painting Materials. CFAD Atelier Journal, UST., Vol. 3 No. 1, 2004-2005, pp. 94-97.
• Conservation of Paintings Attacked by Molds. In College Freshman English Book II. Agalabia, U., Aranda, R., et. al., pp. 124-125, UST Publishing House, 2004
• Today’s Restoration Establishments.  CFAD Atelier Journal, UST., Vol. 4 & 5 No. 1, 2005-2006 & 2006-2007, pp. 95-99

RESEARCH WORK

·        Indoor Air Quality of Beato Angelico Building of the University of Santo Tomas -Commissioned by UST (Nov. 2009-May 2010)

WEBSITES/BLOGS

1.    http://internet-moneymakingsecrets.blogspot.com (Money-Making Secrets)

2.    http://internet-moneymakingsecrets.weebly.com   (Internet Marketing Secrets)

3.    http://cmpaner.blogspot.com  (The Painting Doctor-“Restorer/Conservator”)

4.    http://sulit.com.ph/3498047  (Research assistance/Thesis Assistance/Thesis Editing)

5.    http://sulit.com.ph/4829772 (LET Review by a LET Topnotcher and Veteran Reviewer)

6.    http://sulit.com.ph/5040331 (Lotto Secrets Revealed!)

7.    http://sulit.com.ph/5058879 (Muscle Building Cookbook)

8.    http://sulit.com.ph/5069982 (Wedding Photography Secrets)

9.    http://sulit.com.ph/4973311 (Food Cart Franchise Business)

10.  http://sulit.com.ph/4833582 (St. Peter Life Plan and Memorial Chapels)

11.  http://sulit.com.ph/4186306 ( Art and Craft Materials for Sale At Low Price!)

12.  http://sulit.com.ph/4621349 (Cleaning and Restoration of Paintings)

13.  http://sulit.com.ph/4869897  (Natracare Food Supplements)

14.  http://sulit.com.ph/4802983 (LET Reviewer Books)

15.  http://sulit.com.ph/5021693 (How to Lose Weight Fast!)

16.  http://sulit.com.ph/5093345 ( How to Stop Hair Loss and Regrow It the Natural Way)

17.  http://sulit.com.ph/5126659  (How to Get Pregnant Fast!)

18.  http://sulit.com.ph/4930508  (Condo for Rent at 39K Infinity Tower, Global City, Taguig)

WORK  EXPERIENCE

• Instructor 5, CFAD, IPEA, Pharmacy, CTHM, University of Santo Tomas

SY 1995-Present

Subjects taught: Organic Chemistry lab., Statistics, College Algebra,

                           Algebra with Trigonometry, Business Math, Physics,

                          Plane & Solid Geometry, Environmental Science, Biology

                                                                                                                                                

• Part Time Instructor, Our Lady of Perpetual Help College, Manila

Subjects taught: Food Microbiology (Lecture and Laboratory)                                                                                                         

• Part Time Instructor, St. Paul’s College, Quezon City

Subjects taught: Lec. & Lab: General Microbiology, Biochemistry, Microtechnique

• Part Time Instructor, Unciano Colleges and General Hospital, Inc., Manila

Subjects taught: Lec. & Lab: General Microbiology and Parasitology, Inorganic Chemistry,

                          Comparative Anatomy, Botany, Organic Chemistry, General Zoology,

                          Biology, Biochemistry

OTHER PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

·         Editor and Professional Consultant, MET Publishing House, Manila

·         Microbiologist, Silver Swan Manufacturing Inc.,Panghulo, Malabon

·         Biochemist, Watercare Philippines, Inc., Valenzuela City

·         Food Production Researcher(Mushroom Culture), TWH, Inc., Cainta Rizal

·         Review Director for LET, Center for Educational Excellence, Inc.

·         Project Consultant on “Biodeterioration of Artworks”, Paper Conservation Laboratory, Archives Dept., Arzobispado de Manila

Projects: Conservation of paintings by Fernando Amorsolo, Botong Francisco,

               Ben Cab, Cezar Legaspi, Simon Flores, Betsy Westerndorp

·         Licensure Exams For Teachers (LET) Reviewer at:

- Malabon City University,MET Review Center, UST-College of Education, Caloocan   Polytechnic College, Trinity College, & Center for Educational Excellence Inc.

AWARDS AND HONORS

• Beato  Angelico Service Award
• 10^th Placer (85.60%), Licensure Examinations for Teachers (LET)
• Full College Scholarship by Lourdes Reyes Foundation
• Professional Civil Service Examinations, weighted ave: 86.49%
• Valedictorian, High School
• Salutatorian, Elementary
• Certificate of Appreciation as resource speaker on the topic “Visual Arts and Restorations”, Faculty-Student Art Forum, Beato Angelico Bldg.,UST.
• Recognition Award for invaluable support and committed service to HARIBON UST as adviser from 2002-2004
• Honored as 4^th Degree(highest degree) member of the Knights of Columbus

 Given by Philippine District IV-NCR

·            Loyalty and Faithful Award for 13 years of Service

 Knights of Columbus UST- Faculty Council 4321

·            Dedicated and Competent Service Award as LET Reviewer

 Malabon City University                                                                                           

·            Champion, Pautakan Quiz Bee for Coaches, UST                                                          

·            Family of the Year Award

            Knights of Columbus UST Faculty Council 4321

·         UST Graduate School Thesis Writing Grant

  UST Graduate School Alumni Association

·         Certificate of Recognition for invaluable Contribution as Lecturer/Reviewer

 Pilot Project on Review Classes for Licensure Examinations for Teachers

 College of Education, UST                                                   

·      Certificate of Appreciation as guest speaker on the topic “Products that Cause Cancer”, given by NEWAYS International (Phils.), Makati City

       

TRAINING /SEMINAR WORKSHOPS

• Seminar on Test and Measurement Evaluation

• Seminar on Principles/Philosophy of Education

·        Faculty Development Seminar

• Traditional Filipino Art

• Curriculum Development                                                
• Rubrics Development Across Disciplines                                         
• Certificate on Adobe Photoshop
• Certificate on PC Troubleshooting and Networking
• The Ethics of Teaching
• Rights and Responsibilities of the Faculty Members, Academic and Administrative Officials and Office Staff Seminar                                                   
• UST-CFAD Planning and Development Seminar
• Shepherding the Shepherds
• Workshop on Syllabus Construction                                                                        
• Textbook and Learning Materials Development
• Computer Literacy on Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, & MS Excel
• Symposium on Waste Management
• Ecological Symposium
• Bringing Out the Best in Me and the Best in You
• Integrating Media in Classroom Instruction( Design, Production, and Utilization of Media)
• Principles and Methods of Humane Educators
• Certificate on Basic Industrial Electronics
• Certificate on Information Technology
• Symposium on the Preservation of our Environment

·         Research Colloquia on Indoor Air and Water Quality in Relation to Building Design

·         Convention of Philippine Association of Academic Biochemists,          

• 16^th Annual Convention of Philippine Biochemical Society
• Script Writing Workshop
• Basic Business and Financial Management                                                             

AFFILIATIONS

• Member, CFAD- Adhoc Committee on Math Department
• Member, CFAD-Committee on Environmental Advocacy
• Member, CFAD-Adhoc Committee on Value Formation
• Board of Director

Philippine Association  for the Scientific Conservation of Cultural Properties   

• Deputy Grand Knight, Knights of Columbus UST Faculty Council No. 4321
• Auditor

College of Fine Arts & Design Faculty Association

• Adviser, HARIBON UST
• Business Manager, NOH-SCC Alumni Association
• Member, Outreach Program Committee

College of Architecture and Fine Arts

LANGUAGES SPOKEN

English, Filipino, Italian, Japanese

OTHER SPECIAL SKILLS/TALENTS

• Thesis Editing/Research Assistance
• Computer operation using MS Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Adobe Photoshop, Internet
• Computer Hardware repair and Software installations
• Website/Blog Construction
• Photography
• Swimming
• Playing Banduria
• Singing
• Riding ATV